Student Jobs Over At Milkround.com

Are you looking for graduate opportunities in your final year or information on work during your studies such as student placements, work experience and internships?

Milkround.com lists 100 of graduate recruiters such as Accenture, IBM, and Microsoft (they have all been featured in the Times 100 graduate recruiters). Milkround also lists industrial student placements and internships.

Feel free to register your interest at the link below to receive the latest job alerts specific to your area of study.

http://www.milkround.com/r1513226

It will only take you 30 seconds to register and make sure you activate the email to start receiving job alerts.

Good luck with your career!

My new startup - http://www.greenscout.co.uk/

I have just published my new startup idea at

http://www.greenscout.co.uk

The concept of this site is simple - to scout and promote existing and new services and solution offerings that can benefit home users as well as businesses. My aim is to build up a fully featured site with the best companies offering a service that is green inspired or involves a green element such as energy reduction.

Examples are: Web Hosting, Car Insurance, Recycling firms, E-Billing etc

I feel there is a need to showcase these websites in one place as every day I read about a new venture involving...you guessed it 'Green'

Have a look and tell me what you think - its still in the early stages but I feel its got a solid foundation and content is still being updated.

Cheers

We have found an exciting new startup that may be of interest. 'Parkatmyhouse.com' - ParkatmyHouse.com confronts the reality of car use and promotes space-efficient parking by tapping into a readily available but unexploited resource.

The concept is simple - homeowners can rent out their empty driveways or garages to drivers requiring a parking space.

As you know well know its annoying driving round city centres for ages trying to find a parking space plus this concept has a green theme to it.

THE WEDDING TEST

>
> I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend
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> and I had been dating for over a year, and so we
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> decided to get married. There was only one
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> little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful
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> younger sister.
>
>
> My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very
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> tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She
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> would regularly bend down when she was near
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> me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to
>
> be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was
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> near anyone else.
>
>
> One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to
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> c
> ome over to check the wedding invitations. She was
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> alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she
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> had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
>
> overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once
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> before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
>
> Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
>
> She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if
>
> you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'
>
>
> I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go
>
> up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned
>
> and made a beeline straight to the front door. I
>
> opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
>
> Lord... and behold, my entire future family was standing
>
> outside, all clapping!
>
>
> With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and
>
> said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our
>
> little test. We couldn't ask for a better
>
> man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'
>
> And the moral of this story is:
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> Always keep your c*ndoms in your car.

How To Fix The Economy

Dear Mr. Darling,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain's economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan :

There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

4) They must send their kids to school / college /university - Crime rate fixed

5) Buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a week there's your money back in duty / tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back there falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.

If you think this would work, please send this to everyone you know

3 Minute Management Course

Hi all

Some lessons to be learned (some old but still good and some new to me)

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.

But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh

is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up,

you will find glory."

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity




Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say


Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure,why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up !




Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

BullS*** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there !





Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate... Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:

(1) Not everyone who sh!ts on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep sh!t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends the 3-minute management course

Dog or Hen

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he
often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He
gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke, he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed.

'Who the hell are you?', demanded Dave, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom?'

'The mysterious man answered, 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter!' .

'Dave was stunned. 'You mean I'm dead !!!

That can't be, I have so much to live for - and I haven't said goodbye to my family.

You've got to send me back straight away.'

St Peter replied, 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.

We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house,

he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around,

pecking the ground.

'This ain't so bad', he thought until he felt this strange feelingwelling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said,'So you're the new hen.

How are you enjoying your first day here?'

''It's not so bad', replies Dave, 'but I have this strange feeling inside,

like I'm about to explode.

''You're ovulating', explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg

before.

''Never', replies Dave.

'Well just relax and let it happen', the rooster reassured him.

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out

from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions

got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he

knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him .
. . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous

smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...

'Dave, wake up, you drunken bastard. You've sh!t the bed!!'

http://topfordollar.blogspot.com/

http://topfordollar.blogspot.com/

Could this be the next million dollar homepage style site, Basically you pay $1 for your website to be listed at the top of the page. Cheap and cheerful I say!

Nintendo Wii Fit for Sale

I am selling a Brand New and SEALED UK PAL Nintendo Wii Fit Balance Board

Included is:
Wii-Fit Balance Board
Wii-Fit Games
Batteries
Instruction Manual
ALL BRAND NEW, SEALED AND GENUINE PAL ENGLISH VERSION!

I am selling this for £100 they are sold out everywhere, I will accept paypal or collection from Brighton.

Ring me on 07857557381 or email just.vaughan@gmail.com for more information. I can provide an image to prove I do actually have the Wii Fit

This may seem somewhat dodgy but I need to sell it, and at the same time I can find out how effective blogging is for advertising items for sale.

Todays Lesson

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.
She responded, "The bastard used coins!"

Management Lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

The Corona Beer

While you can find many types of alcoholic drinks beer is one drink that is very popular with lots of people. Of the many types the Mexican beer verities are also quite popular. These beers from Mexico are ones that we are very familiar with. You have probably heard the names of these beers. They include beers like c.b., Anheuser-Busch beer varieties, Negra Modelo and others.

While you are probably going to find many different types of beer that you can drink while you are in Mexico these are the main verities for the most part. c.b. which is enjoyed in lots of countries is brewed in Grupo Modelo. This is the largest brewery that you will find in Mexico.
The beer that is produced by this brewery is of the highest quality.

The main countries where you will find people drinking different types of c.b. includes Canada, the US, Japan, Australia and even England. There are variations to the c.b. that is drunk by quite a lot of people.

While Corona Beer is very popular with beer lovers in different parts of the world, in Mexico there are certain domestic beer types which are firm favorites with the Mexicans themselves. These local beers are well known in various corners of Mexico.
C.b. has a large international following of enthusiastic lovers of its refreshing taste. The many connoisseurs of beer will tell you that this beer has a light, dry taste to it. You will it seems be able to taste the hops and malt which has been used to brew this excellent beer.

Now to make sure that your drinking experience of Corona Beer can be enjoyed at anytime of the day you should make sure that you have chilled the beer and then serve it with a slice of lime or lemon. The sour tasting citrus slices will enhance your appreciation of the different varieties of Corona Beer.

Besides drinking c.b. on its own this beer is also a fantastic accompaniment to fresh seafood and other light tasting food dishes. For a beer that is fabulous with food and friends there is no other choice that you can make. Try any of the Corona Beer varieties and see how well they fit into your day’s schedule. Once you have tried Corona beer you will never be satisfied with drinking anything else, as nothing is smoother than a Corona Beer.
Article source: ContentLog.com

Competition Time

I want to create abit of buzz around the net....so I am creating the first student geezer competition...

Basically all you have to do is send an email to the address below and write 'I want to win a prize'.. the winner will be chosen randomly and will receive season 1 of skins on DVD

The catch is the competition is only going to stand if I get at least 30 entrys so tell all your friends. the winner will be announced March 31st and the prize will be sent once the winner is chosen and they send their delivery details.

So write I want to win a prize to studentgeezer.competition@googlemail.com

Only available for U.K residents.....Get those emails coming in.

Nadine Velazquez From My Name Is Earl

WOW!!!! Now all fans of My Name Is Earl know she is drop dead gorgeous, now the latin beauty has down a shoot for the guys over at fhm check it out here......http://www.fhm.com/Site/Girls/CoverGirls/Article.aspx?Gallery=4560&Picture=1&GirlID=34820

No More Soggy Cereal, Fella!

The eatmecrunchy bowl from the online retailer firebox.com. This cool item separates your milk and cereal till you are ready for your first bite. A simple idea to stop that annoying soggyness in your mouth. They retail at £4.95 not a bad little piece of investment.

Search for eatmecrunchy bowl on the firebox site.

Lets all laugh at Hampshire Police

Hampshire police thought it would be a good idea to advertise on the rear of a bus. Their planning did not take into account the position of the exhaust pipe.

Eduardo Tackle - The Debate Continues

Yes it was horrific, yes it was career threatening, but is this all getting blown out of proportion to some extent. Martin Taylor went in wrecklessly and ended up snapping Eduardo's foot, it was appaling but Taylor didnt maliciously decide to break Eduardos foot the way he did.

Then we have Wenger and as much as I have respect for him as a manager because he undoubtedly is one of the best in the business, as a person he can be an absolute ass at times. His comments after the game were outrageous to say the least 'Taylor should be banned for life' then back tracking later in the day. The amount of controversy his Arsenal players have caused in the last 10 years, typical wenger has something happen to his precious team and he creates uproar in the media.

These wreckless challenges happen week in week out and this type of injury was bound to happen at some point. Taylor did deserve red but there have been worse tackles were players have escaped injurys. You only have to look back to last week to see the Arsenal players against Man Utd...

I feel refs should crack down on these dirty challenges, players should be shown red for these wild lunges, but at the end of the day this is football and unfortunately these horrific challengers occur.

Whats your views on the tackle leave comments below.

Mario a little bit worse for wear

Mario off his head, in the world of grand theft auto. Pure Genius

Predict The Premiership

A great site I found that could give fantasy football a run for its money.

'To enter, all you have to do is to predict the scores of English Premiership matches. You start your career as a non-league predictor, but if your predictions are accurate you will quickly make it to the illustrious Premiership - the pinnacle of any predictor's career! But get too many scores wrong and you could be humiliated as you fail to rise from the bottom divisions...'

You can play on your own or set up mini leagues against your friends.

Whos got the balls to predict the result between Man Utd and Arsenal this Saturday then.
COME ON UNITED

http://www.predictthepremiership.com

More Teeside Tinhead....enjoy!

http://www.dubtoons.com

Favorite Food Joke

An elderly man lay dying on his bed. While suffering the agonies ofimpending death, he suddenly smelt the aroma of his favourite cheesesconeswafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and,with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, hecrawleddownstairs.
With laboured breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into thekitchen.
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already inheaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table,weredozens of his favourite scones.
Was it heaven?
Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife of sixtyyears,seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great effort, he threw himself towards the table, landingonhis knees in a rumpled posture.
His parched lips parted.
He could almost taste the cheese scone before it was in his mouth,seeminglybringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to the nearest scone attheedge of the table, when his hand was suddenly smacked with a spatula byhiswife...
F**k off" She said, "They're for the funeral"